Power of Self-compassion

What is self-compassion?

Compassion towards yourself consists of three areas:

• relating to yourself with kindness and warmth at those times when you are suffering or experiencing difficult emotions
• knowing that difficulties and suffering are a part of being human, and that other people have the same kinds of feelings
• being consciously in the present, accepting and perceiving one’s own experiences the way they are

Why is mindfulness needed?

Mindfulness is about being consciously and non-judgementally in the present moment.  A goal is to keep your attention on the present moment and only observe, without assessing or criticising it.

We need to notice and observe our own state and condition in the present in order to practise self-compassion. Without taking ‘time-outs’, we never get a hold of ourselves or our feelings. We therefore begin our self-compassion exercises with mindfulness.

In mindfulness exercises, one tries to focus on a specific point (for example, one’s own breathing). You are likely to notice that when you are doing exercises, your mind tends to wander to other things. Whenever you notice your concentration going elsewhere, gently lead it back to the exercise. Being consciously present is just that: being aware that your awareness wanders!

This week’s exercises are:

•  Listening me (audio)
  listening_me

  
  

  
  
• Awareness of the Body (audio)
  compassionate_body_scan

  
  

  
  
• Try doing a routine task, like brushing your teeth, washing your hair, or eating a snack, but doing so in a very conscious manner. Focus on your sense perceptions (what you see, hear, feel, smell and taste), and whenever your mind wanders, wherever it wanders, bring your attention back to your sense perceptions.

Morning pages were originally created by Julia Cameron to help artists to find back to their creative process. However, also researhers and writers have found them very powerful way to clarify, ground, get over blocks, and prioritize

1)    Prepare pen and paper ready for the morning.

2)    Wake up 20 minutes earlier than usually.

3)    Take the pen and write down anything that comes to your mind, just your stream of consciousness, without stopping. Anything is ok, from your research ideas to the shopping list, worries, joys, concerns, dreams and whatever. Take it as mediation.

4)    Try to keep going with this practice every morning to create a habit.

You can calm yourself by amplifying the friendly sound in yourself by taking a little distance from self-criticism and asking yourself:

 - what have I already achieved?

- what did I do well? What could I do differently?

 - what would be sufficient today?

These questions help you gather important information about the situations in which self-criticism occurs and at the same time strengthen a friendlier and more compassionate way of dealing with yourself.

What can you learn through these exercises?

The purpose of the exercise Listening Me is to learn to pause and to notice how you are doing. Conscious observation of your inner self helps you to recognise your own needs. Taking your own needs seriously is kindness towards yourself.

Awareness of the Body is an exercise that helps you to stop and become conscious of your bodily senses. This kind of awareness of our bodies anchors us to the present. The body exists always in the here and now, regardless of wherever the mind wanders in the past or the future. You may notice how emotional states feel in the body or what needs your body may communicate. Are you tired or stressed? Do you feel tension in your body? Do you feel comfortable and physically relaxed?

In this course we perform mindfulness exercises also because being conscious in the present is an important skills for developing a more compassionate way of relating to ourselves. In order to be more compassionate towards ourselves, we need the ability to perceive our own feelings and experiences without evaluation or criticism.

Learning to stop may be difficult at the beginning. If it is hard for you to take time out of your day for the exercises, you can make it a goal to do just one guided exercise during the week and one exercise daily. The daily exercise should combine mindfulness with some everyday activity (as described above).
Good luck!