5. Networking

SOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS AND NETWORKING

Social relationships are important for mental health. People need other people in order to feel well. A number of things affect the way behave with other people, including inherent temperament, life history, learned social skills, the current environment and personal well-being. Good social relationships bring joy and give strength and support. Sometimes finding friends and networks can feel difficult. People might have to struggle to build interpersonal relationships supporting well-being and networks supporting studies and working life.

How am I with others?

At the beginning of studies, people have usually already formed a conception of how they are as group members. For example, the conceptions may be as follows:

  • I am shy
  • It is easy for me to talk to people
  • I am anxious about joining a new group
  • I enjoy being in a large group
  • I am most comfortable in small groups or one-on-one with someone
  • I do not like being alone
  • I need quiet time on my own
  • I am talkative
  • I first think things through carefully and only then start talking
  • It is easy for me to make friends
  • I do not fit in with others

How do you see yourself in relation to other people? What kinds of experiences have shaped your conception? Moreover, have you ever noticed that you behave differently in some situation than you would have expected? Have you ever received feedback from others that did not fit in with your idea of yourself? Even though studies have indicated that people's inherent temperament traits are relatively stable, the way we interact with others may still vary in different situations and stages of life: 'I used to have a lot of friends, but now getting to know new people feels difficult.' Or 'I was shy back in upper secondary school, but that is not the case anymore!'

Your time as a student offers plenty of opportunities for getting to know people and building networks. Sometimes it may also cause pressure related to an idea that you should be fully comfortable with all kinds of social situations and be able to get large groups of friends at a flick of the wrist. It is important to remember that being sociable does not mean that everyone should be the same way. A shy person or someone otherwise more comfortable in smaller groups can be very sociable indeed and skilled in building networks. It is possible and recommendable to learn social skills and networking, as these skills are useful for both personal well-being as well as studies and career.

 

Where could I get to know others?

There are many ways to get to know people. Studying together with others will allow you to learn better and also build important interpersonal relationships. The school, guilds and other student organisations also organise a lot of activities, and you will definitely get to know others by participating in these.Remember that you do not need to be an expert or have a burning passion for something in order to try it as a hobby! It is worth trying out new things and you can participate if you find the topic at all interesting.

There is a countless number of different kinds or associations, organisations and volunteer actors, allowing you to find people with similar interests. For example, are you interested in nature preservation, sport association activities, human rights, friendship activities, spending time with children or animals, working with refugees or working in a cultural organisation? What about ideological activities concerned with a political or ideological issue you find important? Similar interests bring people together.

Networking

During your studies, you will get an opportunity to build networks in your field. These can help and support you not only in studying, but also later as you enter the working life. Taking small things into account might help you in networking:

  • When you introduce yourself to new people, take their point of view into account in how you tell about yourself. You can think about good questions for starting the conversation beforehand. An open-minded attitude will help you in getting to know people!
  • People are delighted when you remember their names. Learn their names carefully: focus on listening when you are introducing each other, repeat the name you hear and find associations what help you remember.
  • You can maintain discussion with the help of good questions. Present open questions that require an answer longer than just 'yes' or 'no'. You can present the same thing as an open question or a closed one, e.g. 'What made you come to this event?' (open question) or 'Did you come here because you are interested in the topic of the event?' (closed question).
  • Pay attention to your body language: when you are standing straight and with open body language, others will find it easier to approach you, and making eye contact indicates that you are focused on listening.

 

What do I do if I am all alone?

If you feel lonely, you are not alone! A health survey by FSHS (2012) revealed that 26% of first-year students feel that they do not belong to any group related to studying and 35% of fifth-year students felt that they were not a member of any student group. Sometimes it may seem difficult to build relationships outside student groups for a number of reasons. Even though it is possible to enjoy being alone and it is at least good to learn to stand being alone to some extent, every one of us need social relationships. There are ways to overcome loneliness.

If you find it difficult to seek the company of others due to, for example anxiety or low mood, it is worth discussing the issue with a professional. For example, you can talk about the matter with a study psychologist or contact the FSHS.