Identifying demands: identify what you can and cannot influence

The purpose of this exercise is to identify which demands you can influence and which of them you simply have to accept as they are.

  • First, list the demands that cause you stress at the moment. They may be related to studying, work, personal relationships, or any other thing that adds to your workload.
  • Next, go through the list and tick the items you can influence.

We can influence our choices, plans, actions, as well as our attitudes towards our thoughts and feelings. We cannot influence how we feel at a particular moment or what other people do or think. If you fail an important exam, you cannot stop yourself from feeling disappointed or ashamed. You can, however, influence how you look at the situation. Do you blame yourself, avoid thinking about it, feel discouraged and worry about your future academic success, or do you seek to comfort yourself and look for ways to do better next time?

 

Observing and accepting your emotions

We often worsen our stress by trying to avoid the unpleasant feelings that stress inevitably evokes. This next exercise gives you a chance to practise observing and accepting your emotions. Use 1–5 minutes on the exercise.

  • Focus your thoughts on your physical sensations at the moment. Take a few deep breaths, and feel the breath in your body and around the emotion you are experiencing. Let the emotion be as it is. You may make room for the emotion, just letting it be.
  • You can say to yourself: ‘I do not like this emotion, but I have room for it.’
  • Continue observing the emotion, still letting it be as it is. Pay attention to whether you mind seeks to resist the emotion or change it.
  • Do not try to change the emotion. It may change on its own, but it is okay if it does not.

This exercise was adapted from Arto Pietikäinen’s work (in Finnish): Joustava mieli - vapaudu stressin, uupumuksen ja masennuksen yliotteesta (2013)



Identifying your values: where do you want to go in life

Our stress is often worsened if, in our daily life, we have to invest energy in things that we do not find important or enjoyable. On the other hand, it is easier to deal with stress and high workloads when they are connected with something that we truly value.


You can download a handout for this exercise by clicking on this link: TASK ON VALUES

Viimeksi muutettu: maanantaina 16. maaliskuuta 2020, 12.43